It's been exactly a month since I started my hiatus due to the National Exam that I'm about to face.
Really, I stopped writing fictions (well--except for that one time when I couldn't help myself to write a piece of KA's feeling after I read Kodel's fiction). I stopped playing around in RPFs. I stopped updating my infamous writing blog. I even stopped blogging here.
And I think I just felt that overwhelming lost and emptiness right now. When I really don't know what to do, since studying had gotten itself to the bottom of my to-do list (gosh I'm such a lazy-ass). I kind of just spaced out in front of tv, books, and internet. I don't know what I should do, or read, or watch. Softball practices are out from the beginning since I normally started feeling like this after I went home from school. And I went home at 4PM almost everyday. They'll be finishing up once I came around.
I really felt like a horizon, steadily cut through the border of the land and sky. Static. Unchanged.
Yang akhirnya membuat gw percaya bahwa menulis udah bener-bener jadi sarana buat nampung emosi gw, since I often got emotionless these days. And the fact that I can't express my emotions verbally.
If I write good things, the writings will suck all of my emotions; excitements, and pure happiness; and bound it back when I re-read it. If I write bad things, it'll also suck all of the negative thoughts, sadness, and anger inside me, and later left me with a hollow and a much lighter heart. Makanya gw kangen banget nulis. I've been dying to open up those sites and roam around looking for a thread to play with one of my darlings.
I really missed my darlings. So much.
Really, I stopped writing fictions (well--except for that one time when I couldn't help myself to write a piece of KA's feeling after I read Kodel's fiction). I stopped playing around in RPFs. I stopped updating my infamous writing blog. I even stopped blogging here.
And I think I just felt that overwhelming lost and emptiness right now. When I really don't know what to do, since studying had gotten itself to the bottom of my to-do list (gosh I'm such a lazy-ass). I kind of just spaced out in front of tv, books, and internet. I don't know what I should do, or read, or watch. Softball practices are out from the beginning since I normally started feeling like this after I went home from school. And I went home at 4PM almost everyday. They'll be finishing up once I came around.
And thus, I hated the uneasiness and nervousness I normally felt before I went to practice.
I really felt like a horizon, steadily cut through the border of the land and sky. Static. Unchanged.
Yang akhirnya membuat gw percaya bahwa menulis udah bener-bener jadi sarana buat nampung emosi gw, since I often got emotionless these days. And the fact that I can't express my emotions verbally.
If I write good things, the writings will suck all of my emotions; excitements, and pure happiness; and bound it back when I re-read it. If I write bad things, it'll also suck all of the negative thoughts, sadness, and anger inside me, and later left me with a hollow and a much lighter heart. Makanya gw kangen banget nulis. I've been dying to open up those sites and roam around looking for a thread to play with one of my darlings.
I really missed my darlings. So much.
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